Grief, Bereavement and Loss

A guide to coping with loss after the death of a loved one

Coping with the death of a loved one is a personal experience. There is no normal or perfect way to respond.

It is our hope that this article will:

Help you understand your feelings of grief
Offer ways to cope with your grief
Give you information and resources you need

What does grief, mourning and bereavement mean?

Anticipatory grief is the feeling of grief that can happen before your loved one’s death.
Grief is the personal response to a loss
Mourning is a process of adapting to the death of your loved one
Bereavement is the time spent grieving after your loved one’s death

The person loved is no longer alive, but the memories will live on forever. That part of your whole being that loves him/her is embraced when you allow yourself the privilege of remembering. Alan D. Wolfelt

What can grief feel like?

When someone you love dies, your emotions, health, social life and spiritual wellbeing can change. You may feel unusual and upset by these changes.

You may experience:

Feeling numb
In disbelief that your loved has died
Anxiety and distress
Loneliness
Anger
Guilt
Sadness
Depression
Confusion
Trouble focusing and making decisions
Crying or Sighing
Having lucid dreams about your loved one
Seeing images of your loved one
Feeling relieved
Aches and pains
Upset stomach
Loss of sleep and being tired
Changes in sleep and appetite

You may lose interest in:

Day-to-day routines
Sex or intimacy
Relationships

How long will I grieve?

Grieving is a process. Everyone experiences grief differently. There is no right or wrong way for you to react to the death of a loved one.

Symptoms of grief will occur less often and fell less intense as time passes. As symptoms of grief lessen, you will feel able to return to day-to-day life.

People can have both good and bad days when they’re grieving. Grief can come in waves of strong emotional feelings caused by reminders of your loved one… sometimes for no apparent reason at all.

Feelings of grief can return or feel worse on special days like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays when your loved is especially missed. It is normal to revisit your grief throughout your life… even when you have moved on.

Mourning never really ends. Only as time goes on it erupts less frequently – Alan D. Wolfelt

How can I help myself?

Body

Take care of yourself
Talk to your family doctor about any physical concerns
Take part in activities you enjoy such as going for a walk, reading or exercising

Social

Talk with a friend, family member or a member of your faith community
Share memories, stories and photographs of your loved one
Join a group or do one-on-one counselling – This can be done in person, by phone or over the internet.